Yayyy, congratulations are in order. Congrats to Steve for getting accepted into Stanford =) We're all proud.

mi hermano: april is the most sane person in this household...
mi boca: isn't that scary?
mi hermano: yea...

Heeyy, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Chris L. !!! !!! !!!! !!!! !!!!! !!!!! !!!!!! !!!!!! whee, exclamation point patterns. fun times right there.

Happy new year, peoples.

I steal children's music books. ::weep bit-ter-ly:: It runs in the family... Andrew's a klepto when it comes to giant Christmas books. ye-s.

Eh, lately i've been hearing things like "everything happens for a reason" and "well, it's fate" from many different sources. I've been hearing comments like those so often that I've started to believe them and, thusly, begin questioning the silly events surrounding my life.

bad april. bad bad bad.

should i believe my friend when he says he's experienced a miracle, listening as he explains how he got the same amount of money in the mail that he needs for a project? or should i believe someone when he says that me not doing well on my calc. final is a working of fate(you know who you are! =P )? no, i shouldn't... If i get a B in calc it's because i'm stupid and/or lazy, not because the force behind physics deemed it so. =/

okay, maybe if someone pulls you out of a burning building or if, in attempting to shoot yourself on a rooftop, you, completely nervous, end up only grazing yourself with the bullet and falling backwards onto the roof (intsead of forward, off the roof), that's fate. Or maybe fate doesn't work for me, being an unspectacular person. I'd think fate only applies to either spectacular people or spectacular circumstances, not something silly like myself. If everything does happen for a reason, perhaps some of those reasons are trivial; not everything is directly/indirectly caused by something as ethereal as fate.

Soooo, perhaps, if my friend is a spectacular person, his money-in-the-mail thing might be a working of fate. buut.... that doesn't apply to me.

hey maybe not everything happens for a reason! wow! could it possibly be that some things are RANDOM? could it be that, at least sometimes, it just isn't fate?

by the way, that failed attempt at suicide happened to beethoven's nephew, if i remember correctly. correct me if i'm wrong.

Wow. I must sound like a spoiled, rich brat whining about how my dad can't afford piano lessons for my brother. i mean, i am, but damn. sorry about that.

a sad day.

My dad told andrew that he had to quit piano... andrew's taking it really hard... and i can feel my dad in pain too, but andrew doesn't seem to be able to feel that... hum.

i'm not sure if my brother knows... how much it aches, physically and emotionally, to be working 2 jobs and still not be able to provide everything that your family wants. andrew doesn't seem to realize it, but he's making my dad feel very very guilty... but, really.... my dad's 64 and he's having a new child; andrew needs to understand that, even amidst all our luxury, we can't afford piano lessons. We're so used to living well that our current situation almost seems like our marginal propensity to consume (we've tried cutting back on some expenses, but to no avail), and my dad, along with everyone else, really doesn't want to give anything up. i understand that andrew's willing to give up nearly everything to continue piano, but i can't say the same for the rest of the family, including my dad. my dad does not want to be eating top ramen when he should be eating more healthily; ironically, andrew's the one that consumes the most. really, though, i don't think neither andrew nor i should ask any more than food and shelter, considering all the sacrifices my dad's already made for us.

my dad's starting to feel old...and inadequate...and....andrew needs to stop making him feel guilty... but... piano is akin to andrew's life... but...

even harder to know that my piano teacher is one of the very few people andrew feels close to and connects with

i had to make the call because andrew couldn't... he just plain could not tell her

money is an ugly, ugly thing.

somewhere, deep down... i know that my dad feels guilty and will probably give andrew the chance not to quit... and i know that my brother will probably take that chance... and that makes me feel very very low. very low.

hum... andrew chooses to argue/discuss the weirdest things with me at the most inconvenient times.... argh... it's very... unsettling... It's like... he thinks he's moving major ground, but I'm not sure that he is, but i almost wish he were... hum.

At any rate, ecology club's attendance at the Earth Resource human broom clean up was very inspiring. =)

"The Toll Roads....What's stopping you?"

Um... the toll? =\

yay, workshop was good. Good seeing Shirley again. =) "why aren't you guys playing for us?" aaaaaaaaaghhhh =P

on a different note, different person.... "the biggest sin we commit, is being born in this world.." hmm.

"Isn't Faulkner such a little shit? He is, he is." - my english teacher on As I Lay Dying

Yaaay, thank yous to everyone who talked to me yesterday; ya'll made me feel spooshal. =) Also, thanks to all my friends who've been really really great and supportive through the other things... it's wonderful to have friends i can count on. I owe.

Two new links on the side... Neil's (Los Al Batmaan) Xanga Blog and Shirley's (yay... thanks for all your help... although our conversations are infrequent and far apart, you're always watching out for me... thanks so much =) Xanga Blog.

Dad: Apriiiil, what would you do if you dad weren't so crazy, hmmmmmm? =P
Me: Maybe I'd be sane...

Wha? There are Kodomo no Omocha, Marmalade Boy, and Love Hina mangas available at my local bookstores? His and Her Circumstances DVDs too? What is the world coming to?!

For all ye Angels fans...

BURY BONDS! (barry bites.)

My social psychology class is trying to see if they can get the slogan "Bury Bonds!" to catch on. My soc. teacher, an avid angels fan, Fun times. Anyway, help us out by carrying along the slogan... please? Barry Bonds is really narcissitic and arrogant; he believes he carries the Giants.

Mitch Miller on George Gershwin's music: "Keep it simple, keep it sexy, keep it sad."
-- heard on KUSC, 91.5

Yay, a little story. My grandma has a male cat back home in the Philippines. Yes. Wooow. Anyway, one day, the cat came home with a little kitty, the runt of its litter, in its mouth, stolen from who knows where... my grandma and her help thought that her cat would eat the little kitty, so they let him carry the tiny babe to the corner of their back yard and do whatever it was he intended to do. It turns out that my grandma's cat started caring for the newborn (whose eyes were still wet, by the way), keeping it warm, protecting it, even letting it ....um.... there's no way i can put this delicately, so... suck on his nipple. Currently, both kitties are living happily, if not strangely, keeping each other company.

Sorry, I'm a horrible story teller.

I hate when I hear music in my head right before I fall asleep and i have neither the talent nor drive to write it down. ( Sami, that was dun =P Something else was dun too... eh, oh well, i don't remember what it is. )

"why did you paint every fingernail a different color?" "because i'm still a child"

I just realized something really saddening... now that i've quit piano, i can't play a piece solely for someone else... no more performances, formal or informal. Not that it's any great loss... i'm nearly 18 and i'm still playing intermediate pieces. ah well. on to other things for now, i'll come back to this later? hopefully.

it's amazing how much i've deteriorated in such a short time... playing duets with my brother is now harder than it used to be.