Thursday, October 11, 2001

I have to disagree with colin, reasons for love can be explained. Although I don't like to admit it, my parents, my friends, and my society have great influence over who I love. I want to say," I love that guy because he's akin to me and only me and we're right only for each other!" but that, unfortunately, is not true. The person I love has to fit my criteria, whatever their dimensions may be. Good family background, intelligent, funny, etc. etc. etc. Those seem like reasonable things to want in a guy, or so I have been taught by my upbringing. Different women prefer different guy because their dimensions for the perfect guy are different. Not all aspects of love can be explained, but not because we cannot, but because we are either too lazy or unable to determine or express these reasons. I remember reading Cave of the Moving Shadows (yea, i know, think back to 5-7th grade), in which the protagonist loves someone, but has no words to express his love. His language had no word for love, no use for love. I suppose there are still some aspects of love which have no word, but are rational.

Love really doesn't seem so great or wonderful to me....then again, maybe I haven't truely experienced love yet. I've been surpressing my feelings due to my filipino background and lack of self-esteem? =P Possibly. Love, for right now, seems like a pain that I'm forced to endure. Are all the butterflies in my stomach that magically appear when I see a certain person supposed to be a pleasureable feeling? All it does is make me want to go to the bathroom. To urinate (in case you couldn't figure it out the first time). It seems like a boatload of extra trouble to go out of my way to see him during passing periods, or force myself to talk to him during school. I don't like when my thoughts become muddled, but that happens every time I'm around him. When I'm married, am I going to seem both illiterate and mentally stupid because I love my husband so much? Geez, I hope not.

Anyway, I'll shaddup now.

It IS pretty interesting to cry and play piano at the same time (YOU, shaddup, and you, and you, and HEY! you too! Linda, stop laughing. =P) There's nothing wrong with it!!! (says me)

Brendan: Los Al B team will kick some serious butt! Hopefully =D Of course, it's cuz andrew's there. ^_^ Robin and LINDA too! oh yea.....scott too.....i guess... =P

Oy...pianos with ivory keys make me so sad ....=( ::sniffle:: my piano has ivory keys >.< (yes linda, i do hear your shouts of "envirofreak" in the background)

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